By Jody Eagen

‘Ground rule #1’, the facilitator calmly says, ‘Do not communicate with others. Remember that communication is both verbal and non-verbal.’ There is an immediate silence. Not due to obedience but rather to allow time to determine what the heck this means.

Once the impact is realized, the silence is broken. All kinds of concerns are raised. Complaints come fast and furious. Reasons and excuses why this rule does not make sense for many of us are strongly vocalized.

The facilitator practices active listening, showing an understanding of everyone’s unique point of view. We are then reminded that the purpose of this retreat is to ‘enhance our relationship with ourselves’. What better way than in silence listening to our inner voice?

Retreats allow us such opportunities. To stop the treadmill and get off. To try something different. To hear others in new ways. To listen in ways we have never listened before. To hear ourself. To hear our truth, maybe for the first time.

Some are afraid to hear their own truth. Maybe a retreat is not for them. Those who know that learning is life long take the retreat challenge. People, who know that the relationship with themselves is the most important relationship of all, welcome this opportunity, regardless of the rules. They know that success is dependent on relationships. That no relationship can be better than the one they have with themself. They may pretend short term that this is not the case, but long term always shows this to be true.

So what might my inner voice have to say to me? In this retreat we are focusing on fulfilment. How do we define it and get it met constructively. Not easy to do when we are rushing around in our daily lives. How about a long term vision? Tough to gain that type of clarity about life 30 years from now when we struggle to manage next week’s chedule.

Sometimes our inner voice tells us things unrelated to the objectives of the retreat. A good framework facilitates this. Our facilitator elaborates on our ‘points of view’ regarding the ground rules. Each of them is a position we take in life. Some positions serve us to participate and others do not. Some we like to be right about and get stuck on. The framework of this retreat allows us to see the positions we hold in life.

The question becomes, what do we want to be right about, the position or the long term vision we want to create and the resulting fulfilment along the way? Many of us would rather be right. But then, they may be the ones who do not want to listen to their inner voice. Maybe they are the ones complaining about the ground rules rather than having a rich, full experience. Maybe they choose not to come. Such a framework is very rewarding but then it is not for everyone.